Family Fortunes Teams
We had 14 teams of four who ‘volunteered’ or were volunteered for the unenviable task of raising money for their team & then having to participate on stage, to boot. You were all superheroes on the night, with your willingness to join in the fun. Special word of thanks to our Mystery Team who were super fun. We appreciate every teams’ efforts & enjoyed watching the race to the top of the leaderboard. If you haven’t yet donated, the link is still there & will remain open for a week or so https://www.idonate.ie/event/CHC
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 Clann Faughs – Robbie, Grace, Cillian, and Brona: a full family affair, named by Raymond and known for big ambitions (and bigger Hyrox chat). Brona’s tipped to score the winner – but also likely to hit the deck first on a night out, while Grace keeps the party going. Training ground battles with Brian McGuigan built character that will serve them well for Family Fortunes. Favourite memory? Winning Ulster and heading to London. Prize money? Maybe Vegas, or they’ll just pay Robbie to pipe down about Hyrox. Either way, win-win.
Introduction for Co-host David Connolly Ladies and gentlemen, hide your Val Doonican jumpers and brace yourselves—because our co-host tonight is a man with more one-liners than an issue of Ireland’s Own… He’s the only man we know who could challenge Pat Shortt to a chin-off—and still come out smiling. He may have spent his childhood puckin’ sliotars about the garden at home in nothing but his boxers, but tonight he’s dressed up (presumably) and ready to serve up fashion regret flashbacks featuring flowery shirts and suspicious knitwear. When he’s not reliving old hurling battles with Darren Mulligan or Pat Walsh, you’ll find him belting out Hound Dog by Elvis—or headbanging to anything with a beat. Favourite pastime? Retelling jokes he read in Ireland’s Own. Favourite hurlers? Everyone from Joe Cooney to Big Syd. Toughest opponents? Anyone with pace and a brain—two things he’s always managed to avoid. Give it up for the man who put the “old school” in “school of hurling” and still knows how to light up a mic—David Connolly! |
The Conabury Hillbillies – Ray, Michelle, Evanne and Nathan: a team name chosen over McArdle Stick Swingers (you’re welcome), and a mascot with a memory span to match. Michelle’s your big-match scorer, Nathan provides the style & panache, and Ray—known to some as “Rat”—brings undeniable 80’s fashion trauma to the table. Evanne keeps the squad upright on a night out, while the rest fade faster than a goldfish’s focus. They’ve got origami skills, a fondness for Big Tom, and at least one grudge against Brendan McArdle. If they win Family Fortunes, expect the winnings to go back into the club—unless someone folds it into a paper swan first.
Corracloughan Crew Plus 1 – Kevin Moloney, Dermot Beirne, Mary Flanagan & Ger O’Brien: a finely balanced mix of flair, finance and fondness for wine. Mary’s your woman for a pressure point—and a late-night singalong. Dermot’s the accountant-turned-mascot whisperer, needing a black cat to steady the nerves. Fashion sins include cowboy boots at a fundraiser, and their favourite pastime? Giving referees helpful feedback. If they take home the prize, the rushes in Concra won’t know what hit them.
Crafty Cartel – your friendly local (coffee) dealers, with a sideline in hurling and questionable fashion choices. Senan is the match-winner (unless it’s past his bedtime), Aine never knows when to call it a night, and Shona keeps the team multilingual—mostly thanks to Duolingo guilt trips. Their mascot, Gingie the dog, brings more energy than their chosen team animal (a sloth), but they make up for it with solid moves to a Jolene singalong. If they win, expect a coffee truck at every match—partly for business, mostly to keep Fergal Rafter off their backs on a Sunday morning.
Cullen Chicks – two chicks with sticks, one peanut, and a man just trying to keep up. Hugh, Eileen, Aoife, and Grainne are ready to take on Family Fortunes, powered by Great Balls of Fire and some highly questionable decision-making. Grainne’s got the skills, Aoife’s got the stamina, Eileen’s got the karaoke mic (whether you like it or not), and Hugh… well, he’s mostly here for moral support and his beloved dog, Joey Cullen. Expect dodgy fashion confessions, a few bruised egos, and at least one person hitting the deck before the night is out.
The Horseman’s Faithful – a team powered by staycations, Barbour jackets, and a healthy appreciation for a good pint. Fergal is the sharpshooter, Ruairi is the first to drop, and Paddy is last man standing—mainly because Nathan gets collected by half eleven. Their team anthem, You’re such a good looking woman, sets the tone for a squad that values style (despite past Superdry sins) and stamina (mainly for long weekends away). Their mascot Séamie, although only a few months old, is already showing great promise as a style icon! With the prize fund already earmarked for a session at the Horseman’s, expect dodgy karaoke, questionable dance moves, and a few weak links—namely, Nathan and Ruairi.
I Play County – Aaron, Niall, Hugh, Paudie and Declan: a team named for their collective modesty. Niall “DJ” Garland earned his nickname not only for his stick skills, but also his fundraising acumen – sure to come in handy in the lead-up to Family Fortunes. Declan’s the so-called weakest link—mostly because of his size—but he’s somehow still going strong three days after a night out. Paudie belts out Paolo Nutini like it’s the real thing, breakfast happens exclusively at Ash Café, and if they win Family Fortunes? The prize fund is earmarked for a few transfers… including Tom Brennan’s bus fare back from Dublin’s Na Fianna.
The Mulligan Cowboys – Colm, Niall, Ollie, and Phelim. Not just a team, but a brand—if you believe the hype (and their satisfied customers)! Their soundtrack? Macho Man, naturally. Phelim’s the sharpshooter for big points (2003’s Player of the Year, don’t you know), even if he’s also the first to hit the floor on a night out. Niall takes the honour of weakest link, while the rest fight for the last dregs of consciousness at the bar. If they win Family Fortunes, expect Celine Dion on loop at Phelim’s villa in Albufeira loud enough to echo back to Blayney.
Oldies Make Good Goalies – Brian, Jim, Mickey, and Paul. The name says it all – knees might crack and backs might seize, but these lads still fancy themselves between the posts. Their theme tune: Going Out the Same Way You Came In by Big Tom – poetic, if a bit ominous. When it comes to landing the winning point, don’t look at Jim or Papa. Mickey’s the weakest link, mostly because he had the sense to retire early. Their hurling heroes: Pat Bolger, Sid Connolly, Tubs Kelly and someone simply referred to as “the beard.” On a night out, Mickey’s gone before the pints settle, while Papa’s still standing at closing time, reminding you exactly how disgraceful YOU were. Fondest club memory: drinking in Sid’s Bar – no medals needed.
Camogie Ogies – Mary, Siobhan, Ann, and Dympna: four lifelong friends who’ve mastered the art of face painting, bingo, and offering support to the younger players. Siobhan’s the one you’d trust to score the winning point, while Mary is ‘Superglue’ for a reason – she’ll stick with you, no matter what. Dympna’s always last standing on a night out, while Mary’s the first to hit the deck. Siobhan’s dog, Minnie, is their mascot, clocking up more match appearances than some of the team. Bad perms? They’ve been there. Karaoke? “Sweet Caroline” is the only acceptable answer. If they win, the prize money’s going straight back into the club – nothing fancy, just the way they like it.
The Orchard – Michelle, Sarah, Raymond, and Rose: proudly sponsored, questionably managed, and always dancefloor-ready. Michelle’s your go-to for a last-minute point (until she disappears mid-night out), while Sarah’s still upright when the lights come on. Rose claims weakest link status, but she’s seen off tougher than bingo night. Their mascot’s a black cat—fitting, given their luck in Ulster finals and choice in karaoke (strictly ABBA). Favourite pastimes include country concerts and giving Clint Eastwood a run for his money. If they win Family Fortunes? They’re off on a cruise—no further questions.
The TeaTotallers – bonded by tea, questionable fashion, and a shared distrust of referees. Rory Beggan is the man for the big moments, while Syd is just… there. Their hobbies include Irish dancing, modelling, and watching Dec meticulously count his Communion money like it’s the IMF budget. Fashion low points? Mullets and tank tops—though if they win, they’ll be getting matching ones with “Guinness for less than €5” proudly displayed. On a night out, they rise and fall as one, usually to Blitzkrieg Bop or Suspicious Minds. A team in every sense—except maybe when it comes to paying for the next round
The Young Guns – Young? Technically. Guns? Debatable. Aine may have come up with the name (thanks, Aine!), but the rest of them bring… energy. Leo and Jake are your big-game men – just don’t ask them to play before noon (they’ll need a nap first). Thomas is faithfully rocking his one jersey and two hoodie combo every week without fail, and Shea “Niggles” Casey is equal parts player and sideline ornament, full of opinions even when he’s more on the line than the pitch. They’ve all faced Paudie Heavin on a Sunday morning and lived to tell the tale – just about. If they win Family Fortunes, Thomas is probably using the prize money for milk deliveries for the semester. They may not always take the most conventional route, but they’ll get the job done.
And finally, we are thrilled to bring you the last team in our Family Fortunes Experience….Meet….
